As I was driving home today, I got a robocall from the ubiquitously annoying "Credit card services". It's a scam to get you to reveal your credit card information so they can commit fraud, steal your identity, or do something else not at all good for you. Today, instead of just hanging up, I decided to play along and see how long I could keep the human on the line (every second he's talking to me is a second he's not scamming someone who might actually fall for it). Here's how it went:
SCAMMER: Thank you so much for holding. Align Account Services. How are you doing today?
ME: I'm OK.
SCAMMER: I believe you pressed '9' to get a lower rate on your credit card accounts. Is that correct?
ME: I would love to get lower rates on my credit cards.
SCAMMER: Like how many credit cards do you have in total?
ME: 17 or 18.
SCAMMER: Shove it up in your ass and jump like a fucking kangaroo.
ME: Banana split Milwaukee?
SCAMMER: Shove it in your ass, [something], you motherfucker.
ME: Ha ha ha. [he hangs up]
Recording here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B0yZjaoiTgnGRzRhcUZaLTVRclU
So, I get the feeling that these guys are starting to get a hold of a lot more anti-scammers who try to string them along. And that's a great sign. So, do your part and take a few minutes the next time you get a call like this...it might just be your chance to strike a blow for justice and righteousness. Or, at a minimum, someone with an accent will curse you out...at no charge!
FYI, your phone number is in the file name.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you use to record phone calls?
ReplyDeleteBwahaha
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha, That was amazing!
ReplyDeleteSam Hetchler Actually, that's the scammer's phone number. ;-)
ReplyDeleteMy phone -- an ASUS ZenFone 2 -- has a recording function built right into the phone app.
Lol
ReplyDeleteCraig Froehle
ReplyDeleteHow is it that you and I seem to end up with the same Android phones? I went from the OnePlus to the zenphone 2. hears twilight zone music
Wow, he's not in India. They'll take a beating for an hour and still won't give up.
ReplyDeleteThis is so incredibly weird it almost sounds like a soundboard.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, these kinds of companies doesn't call me. I am having too hard of a time saying no.
I want to make this my ringtone
ReplyDelete"Yeah, I think my credit card number was... um... it was insanely easy to remember... oh, right, 1234 5678 nine ten eleven twelve..."
ReplyDeleteBenjamin Cobb I know! I was tempted to say "70 or 80," but then thought a more quasi-possible number might keep him teetering on the edge of anger and anticipation.
ReplyDeleteDavid Butler Good taste in phones? ;-)
Ray of Sunshine I was actually trying to play back in my head quickly what he'd said since it didn't make sense at first ("kangaroo? what was that??").
Jared Eldredge Speaking of which, maybe I should cut out the scammer's CSR's voice and use the audio as the voicemail greeting?
ReplyDelete... Nah, I don't want to confuse/piss off the legit calls.
Brilliant, Craig!
ReplyDeleteI had a guy recently that said he wanted to make sure my computer was secure. I acted like the most incompetent techno and had him on the phone for a good 15 minutes. My wife just shakes her head and laughs
ReplyDeleteBearman Cartoons I saw a comedy skit a while back where the guy pretended to be a cop at his own murder scene, demanding to know the telemarketers physical location so he could be picked up and taken in for questioning. it went deep, accusing the telemarketers of being the guy's secret lover and likely murderer.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes try to invoke something along those lines but without claiming to be a cop (which is illegal in most circumstances but I do wonder if this sort of situation might afford some leeway)
Jared Eldredge that's Comedian Tom Mabe; he's well-known anti-telemarketer prankster, this is the skit you spoke of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmKtS-k12b0
ReplyDeleteThat escalated quickly. Great work, Craig Froehle
ReplyDeleteChris Droste that's it! thanks for the link! :)
ReplyDelete